Oh You Typical Girl...

As I drag my feet past the recent heartbreak and breakdown, my eyes seem to open wider than physically possible.

Two years ago, I had them all in the palm of my hands- and mind you, I was a little heavier those days. Rounder cheeks and all, I had no trouble finding attention. Was I a happier person then? Today, those wiser than me say people see the sadness in my eyes; they see the restlessness and want nothing to do with it. Others think I need to wait for it to come to me.

What I want to know is the following: How can I not become impatient? How can I not want the next thing to be in front of me this minute? It's easy for people to give me advice, it's easy for me to agree and accept it, but it's extremely difficult to apply it. What makes the situation annoying is that I attract the wrong people. Whether they be married, taken, unattractive or unwanted, I continue to draw these guys.

I know what you're thinking. Typical boy-crazy girl with a typical need for attention.
Well at least I know what I want.



I want a man. Not a boy who thinks he can.

Two Thousand Eight

I felt it necessary to continue keeping up with this blog. I have somehow become lazy with writing and considering the fact that Journalism is my major, I should update.

I was cruising through this page and wonderful memories flooded my thoughts. I used to have such a passion with writing stories that caught peoples attention and that passion has dwindled. I'm afraid that the little talent I have to write will diminish to zero if I don't practice it on a weekly basis.

So here's to the blogs of 2008... or what's left of it.

=]

The Hotel Story

I had been hoping for an exciting, random moment.

It came to me.


As my audience knows, I work in a hotel. My job is quite tedious at times and frustrating as well. Paperwork floods my office space, and clutters of clips scatter themselves accross the desk. On this particular evening, my work seemed to be getting done on time. My reports were complete, my files had been filed, and most of my phone calls had been made. I was just finishing up some paperwork when the sliding double-doors open. I hear the wheels rolling from a suitcase and I immediately know it's a guest coming to check in.
It's 10:32 PM and I don't even want to look up to see who's coming in. My eyes were sore from staring at the fluorescent computer screen, and the back of my knees were aching. Without looking up from my desk, I faked a smile and said, "Welcome...Can I have your last name please?"
"Templin", says the deep, friendly voice.
"Hmmm... Temp....Templin...... Ah, found you." I clicked on his last name and his profile came up.
"I see that you're staying with us for two nights, departing Friday morning, at a group rate of $129 per night. You're also with the border patrol, right?"
"Right", he said. This is when I finally looked up from my screen and braced myself for the view. Standing right there in front of me was strikingly handsome, Caucasian male.
His haircut was sharp as ever, and his ocean eyes created a duet with his colgate smile. He was sporting a navy blue polo with dark-blue jeans, and his body was muscularly toned. My heart almost dropped, but my pen made it's way to the floor.
I managed to slip out a feeble "Great!", and proceeded with checking him in.
"How many keys can I get for you Mr. Templin?"
"One will be fine."
I noticed myself acting like a girl. I swung my hair to the side and perked up when I stood. His good-looks were making my head boggle.
"Okay.. To get to your suite, you can take this elevator on your left-hand side up to the fourth floor. We're currently renovating our hotel, so our breakfast and managers reception will take place on the eighth floor."
He gave me a genuine smile and took the keys.
"Thanks a lot!" he replied and made his way towards the elevators.

"Wow", I thought to myself.

Fifteen minutes later, my work had been finished and I was cleaning up. I was in such a rush to get outta there that I didn't even notice him standing there.
"Do you have any suggestions of where a guy like me can go out tonight?"
And that's when the small talk started.

After I had given him a few suggestions and hints, he gave me a cheerful "thanks!" and stepped outside of the hotel. I noticed for the first time in a while that my hands were moist; his presence had startled me. I peeked out of my desk and noticed him pacing up and down the front entrance. His phone was glued to his ear and his facial expressions showed his restlessness.
I was finally done. I grabbed all of my lip glosses from my storage cabinet, ran into the restroom, and tried to fix myself up. My hair was messy and my bangs were pulled back. The pink ribbon I was wearing on my head was quickly pulled off and I rearranged a new style. I shook off and dug for the keys in my purse. As soon as I clocked out, I made my way for the front entrance of the hotel; my flats clicked every time I took a step.
He gave me a big smile when I walked out and I took this as my cue.
"Did ya find somewhere to go tonight?' I asked with a hopeful tone.
"No...All the BP guys are already inside their rooms and I'm the only loser out here who wants to have a little fun."
"So go jump in the pool! I closes at midnight."
"Jump in the pool?" he answers surprisingly. "Every time I go to a hotel, there is always that creepy guy swimming in the pool late at night. I don't wanna be that guy..."
"I'm sure nobody would have a problem with you swimming in there. Creepy is hardly the word to describe you."
"So what would you describe me as?"

Our conversation flowed for a good half hour. The street lights and the freeway noise complemented our words nicely. He told me all about him: he was from San Diego and was here to get some hands-on training for the BP. I was getting tedious standing up, so I asked him to walk with me around the parking lot. Our shoulders would brush from time to time and our laughter rang across the street.
"I don't think I locked my truck Eunice, lemme go check."
I followed him to his 4-Runner and he opened the drivers door.
"Unlock this one!" I said tiptoeing over the hood.
We ended up sitting next to each other in his truck and comparing our iPod music. He had a lot of Tupac, Chingy, 50 Cent, whereas I had Alan Jackson, George Strait, and Martina McBride. Everything felt so surreal at this point in time; we reached an awkward silence and leaned over to the passenger seat.
"Are you trying to kiss me?" I asked stupidly.
He had no response to my silly question.
"Because if you are, go for it. I'm totally down..."

And he did.

"Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

I've loved you since the day we became brother and sister.
I can watch the home-video of your 3-yr-old self splashing in puddles in your speedos all day long. You had such a sweet smile at that age...
Remember how people would confuse us for twins? I would love to lie and say we were, while you flatly denied that you even knew me. Our voices would even sound the same over the phone.
Remember how we used to fight? We would have these horrifying arguments that would echo throughout the whole house. How did we let that happen?
Remember the day you kneeled on the floor and wept on your bed because you didn't achieve that goal you so early worked for? You broke my heart that night.
Can you recall all those afternoons I'd spend with you while you played Metal Gear Solid on your PS1? I'd literally sit next to you and stare at the screen- you'd never let me play...
You and I used to love to ride roller coasters. We'd get on them over and over until our stomachs churned. When we would fall asleep that night, we'd dream about riding them all over again.
Remember the night we went dancing in Juarez? When it was just you and me? We went to grab some tacos later and we couldn't stop laughing... and then we got pulled over...
Remember the day you left? Unexpected tears rolled down my cheeks and I saw that you wanted to cry too, but you didn't...
I walk around the house these days and gaze at your empty room. I swipe my finger on your furniture and I find dust. Nothing is there; like empty school classrooms on summer break.
I try my best to replace you, but I've found it to be impossible. Although I know you should be where you are now, I'd much rather have you here.


I definitely did not expect to miss you.

Never-Changing Dilemma

Is change good?
As we walk through life, we become accustomed to the same scenic path and see the same things over and over. I must admit that it's nice to have that comforting routine we can always fall back on- but isn't is also nice to try something new?
What I hate about change is the painful transition between the new and the old. I have been known to hold on to things longer than needed and acknowledge that I may need help sometimes.
About a month ago, I found myself wailing over a much loved vehicle. Pat was a rugged 4x4 SUV that proved herself by riding strong for seven years. The whole family had made numerous memories with her that included off-roading, road trips and several unmentionables. My parents came home one day with a shiny, new '06 Pathfinder and tears were spilled as I realized that Pat had been traded in. Although this was a awesome, different change, my heart couldn't help feeling punctured and empty. This is what I mean by 'pain' with change.
With people, change is even harder. I have to really make an effort to control my feelings and stay as happy as possible.
When it comes to dealing with "out with the old, and in with the new", I wonder if I'll always have to deal with the pain.

Is It a Bummer or a Killer?

The catalyst that saves it or breaks it is powerfull indeed. It not only presents itself, makes itself known and infers intentions, it also causes striking results.
To my catalyst(!) : Unexpected as you were- calling me at midnight and tempting me with your oh so sweet words- you caused me to light up. The melody of your voice had such an interesting cue, and your stereotypical choice of words intrigued me very much. I had known you for so long yet I felt like a total stranger to you. Slowly but surely, you found your way into my head and introduced a whole new way of looking at things. Your confessions were like a cold shower, shocking, unexpected and exhilirating. The truth is, I became addicted.
Allow me to skip everything that was in between and jump straight into our finale. You gave me gift, only to take it away. You and I both allowed ourselves to let go and permit our emotions to get a hold of us. It's okay though, everything looks like it's going to turn out fine. I assure you it will.
I congratulate you with courage for putting a stop to it.
In reward, I give you a simple thank you for putting that spark in my life that I so dearly yearned for.
Be cool.

Everything Comes To An End

School's out and the summer awaits! I got some things planned for these months and God willing, they all turn out to my benefit. I've learned so many awesome things this semester, and I hope to not ever forget them.
In Philosophy, I learned that eros can mean many things to many people. Whether it's a love for wisdom, a love for oneself or another, or even a love for love, eros translates into a beautiful word that is love itself. In Psychology, I learned many terms and conditions such as Brocas aphasia, acetocholine, and the fundamental attribution error. Psychology is not always about therapy, but about the reasons of why people act the way they do; whether it because they choose to, or cause they have a condition. Political Science stirred up my mind as we talked about current world issues and policies. I learned about different governmental institutions and why the world is the way it is today. History revived my mind of the past. Ulysses Grant, Robert E. Lee, Lincoln, Benito Juarez and many others brought back amazing stories that shaped my American culture. English engaged me in rhetoric arguments and our nations current events. This class sharpened up my writing skills and reminded me of a very important thing: I love to write.
I can honestly say I was blessed with five amazing teachers, I hope to have the same in store for next semester.