"Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"

I've loved you since the day we became brother and sister.
I can watch the home-video of your 3-yr-old self splashing in puddles in your speedos all day long. You had such a sweet smile at that age...
Remember how people would confuse us for twins? I would love to lie and say we were, while you flatly denied that you even knew me. Our voices would even sound the same over the phone.
Remember how we used to fight? We would have these horrifying arguments that would echo throughout the whole house. How did we let that happen?
Remember the day you kneeled on the floor and wept on your bed because you didn't achieve that goal you so early worked for? You broke my heart that night.
Can you recall all those afternoons I'd spend with you while you played Metal Gear Solid on your PS1? I'd literally sit next to you and stare at the screen- you'd never let me play...
You and I used to love to ride roller coasters. We'd get on them over and over until our stomachs churned. When we would fall asleep that night, we'd dream about riding them all over again.
Remember the night we went dancing in Juarez? When it was just you and me? We went to grab some tacos later and we couldn't stop laughing... and then we got pulled over...
Remember the day you left? Unexpected tears rolled down my cheeks and I saw that you wanted to cry too, but you didn't...
I walk around the house these days and gaze at your empty room. I swipe my finger on your furniture and I find dust. Nothing is there; like empty school classrooms on summer break.
I try my best to replace you, but I've found it to be impossible. Although I know you should be where you are now, I'd much rather have you here.


I definitely did not expect to miss you.

Never-Changing Dilemma

Is change good?
As we walk through life, we become accustomed to the same scenic path and see the same things over and over. I must admit that it's nice to have that comforting routine we can always fall back on- but isn't is also nice to try something new?
What I hate about change is the painful transition between the new and the old. I have been known to hold on to things longer than needed and acknowledge that I may need help sometimes.
About a month ago, I found myself wailing over a much loved vehicle. Pat was a rugged 4x4 SUV that proved herself by riding strong for seven years. The whole family had made numerous memories with her that included off-roading, road trips and several unmentionables. My parents came home one day with a shiny, new '06 Pathfinder and tears were spilled as I realized that Pat had been traded in. Although this was a awesome, different change, my heart couldn't help feeling punctured and empty. This is what I mean by 'pain' with change.
With people, change is even harder. I have to really make an effort to control my feelings and stay as happy as possible.
When it comes to dealing with "out with the old, and in with the new", I wonder if I'll always have to deal with the pain.